A quick and brief followup epilogue, with updates I promised on small hardware.
Dorman 963-005D plastic retainers seem to fit the lid perfectly, and slot into the metal notches with just enough grip to hold, but pull free with a gentle, focused tug, then lift out with a pry tool. I've had no success with screw-styles not quickly stripping and getting similarly stuck, here.
I have indeed replaced the bolts holding the intake mouth in place (and pressurizing the gasket when installed) with Retro-Motive #1964 M4.2 x 20mm 7mm Hex trim screws. This changed the socket size for these from 8mm to 7mm, but otherwise worked beautifully, and hopefully these won't be as prone to rust as the ones before them.
Finally, I did a little flow testing and have a sense of exactly how the water creep happens. This will surely be elementary for many of you, so apologies for the "grade school science teacher" mini-lecture, but I write this stuff to document it clearly, and if it helps even one person, someday, better it be written than not at all.
So, water hits the windshield, and it's supposed to be blown backward by the slope and the car's forward momentum, gliding backward over the roof. In a perfect world, with the car in motion, this happens. If the car's not in motion, of course, the water will run down the windshield, where it encounters the first rubber weatherstripping water barrier.
This is designed, obviously, to keep water from spilling between the windshield and the upper plastic "lid" of the air intake, and the grooves and slope of the lid are designed, in the case of water accumulation, to route that water over the air intake and down into the front end of the plastic lip, in front of and away from the air intake hole, toward the two drain points at the far corners. When forward momentum and slipstream aren't channeling water "up and over," this is designed to send water "over the lid, down, and out the drains."
And generally speaking, it works. Until it doesn't.
Those drain points are narrow, because they just aren't designed for stopping in a monsoon downpour. They can clog, and it's not even a case of blocking entirely -- in Florida weather, it can simply be a case of
being caught stopped in a sudden drench with a partial blockage slowing your drain rate such that the sky's flow rate exceeds it, for the moment. That's the real kicker.
You can be successfully draining, still...just not quickly enough. I live in south Florida, so this is an issue I need to think about. Yes, Sebastian's a garage baby, but should I go out for brunch and the skies open up...he's stopped, with water flow down his windshield, while I'm having my coffee and omelette.
Here's where that gasket comes in.
See, Newton's First Law of Town Cars (he drove a Cartier Edition, I'm told) states that a Town Car in motion will probably continue to slough water up-and-over,
as long as it stays in motion. Stop that motion, and as the water runs down and accumulates, what happens? Well, ideally, it all pours up and around the guard grooves on the lid, routes to the corners and down the outer edges well away from that cabin air intake, and out one of the two drains at the corners. But there are two ways this can fail. One being if water isn't flowing out of the drains quickly enough to prevent water level from rising...and the other being if that first weatherstrip against the glass is failing. If it is, then water rolling down the windshield isn't flowing over the weatherstripping and reaching the channels to route it to the drain -- it's seeping under that weatherstripping and trickling down against the
back of the foam seal around the air intake.
And if it is...that's when you really, truly need that seal to be
perfect, because if water breaches it, water enters your cabin air intake and that's just not designed for water to exit, gracefully.
The other "disaster scenario" is if the drain channels clog to the point of standing water in there, which rises up to flood over the air intake. Then you're just...well, in real trouble.
So, owning a Town Car that's had a $650 dealership trip in its past life for this very situation, I wanted to really, deeply understand what causes this, what can be done about it, and where the points of failure are, as well as what conditions cause the problem. In conclusion, here's the tl;dr version of this.
- It's water rolling down the windshield when the car's not at appreciable speed that seems to be the culprit.
- Keeping your car from being stopped or nearly-stopped in a downpour is a huge help here. Water-resistant car covers may well be a godsend, if you park outside. Garages are even better.
- If your windshield weatherstripping is solid and your two drains are clear, you can probably handle most normal rain while stopped without a problem, even moderate Florida downpours.
- If this weatherstripping fails, water can seep directly in behind the air intake, placing the air intake directly in its natural flow path. Here, you become reliant on the seal formed by the back wall of that gasket/foam.
- Even if both the weatherstripping and the gasket are solid, you may still encounter problems if the drains get clogged. It's a flow rate calculation problem, obviously -- how much water you're taking into the drain, versus how fast the drains are letting water leave the drain pan -- but a single dry, dead leaf can seriously impede flow and cause a surprising number of nightmares here. Check these drains regularly. I'm using a soft pipe cleaner brush every now and then, preemptively. Doesn't take much, just a gentle check for obstruction.
- If your drains are clear, your weatherstripping is good, and your gasket is snug and healthy, you are very, very unlikely to encounter too many problems here, short of parking outside in a hurricane.
- Try to avoid parking outside in a hurricane, if possible.
Again, this is just one dumb old man with a socket set sharing his life lessons and learning with you. Take what I say with a grain of salt, remember I'm not infallible, just stubborn, honest, and long-winded.

Still, my car saw a $650 repair, and if what I've learned means yours won't need one, I'm delighted I could spare you the headache!